Pimp My Site
Here’s a shocker…I was thinking the other day. Yes, yes, I know. That’s been know to be dangerous and cause trouble in the past. So yeah, I was thinking about cyber pimping and websites the other day and it hit me: Pimp My Website with Webmaster J. Behold, the dawn of something that doesn’t suck on MTV:
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Here’s the deal: Me, being the uber webmaster that I am, will pick a website that’s hosted on Geocities, Freeservers, or something equally crappy. The website has to have been written in HTML using a high school level or below coding comprehension. It also must load slow, contain tons of banners/popups, and have as few images as possible. Broken links and missing tags are a must.
Then I’ll email or use a webcam to tell them that their website is going to be pimped out. The overall plan is to move all their content to a bigger site with their own domain registration and no popups/banners. Next I’ll have a team of nerds standing by to do each of the following: HTML Design, Hardcore Coding (ASP, Java, PHP, ect…), Database (mySQL, ect…), Graphics (Photoshop), CSS, Macromedia type stuff, and possibly someone to do Audio/Video. My team will rip apart the site and pimp it out like there is no tomorrow.
Finally, we’ll have a big unveiling online, flash between the old and new site a few times, and hand them all the user names and passwords. Oh, I’ll also have the team going through each part of the site and detailing what they did. Of course my team will have to be the nerdest crew in the universe (second only to Bill Gates’) and try to talk in ghetto as much as possible. “Yo yo, yo, you see dis’ applet here. Thats some fly code dogg. And these graphics are like BAM in yo face. Word.” And just for old times sake, we’ll even mount a plasma TV on the side of their computer and trick out their comptuer speakers.
This is Webmaster J and your website has been PIMPED!!
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Yeah…just smile and nod on that one. Well peoples, I hope you have a wonderful weekend and don’t party too hard.
[shameless]
A hearty Happy Birthday goes out to Jillian, Mark, and Roy.
[/shameless]
And remember, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. ” – Ferris Bueller
Jillian, this PC is for you. Err…Happy Birthday!!
Hapland. Good luck with this one.
Jackpot!!
Photographs from the Arkansas State Prison 1915-1937.
This sounds like something that would happen to me.
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I'm currently living in Tallahassee, FL where I am a graduate of the Computer Science program at FSU and a C# web developer for a local software company.
So here is a question for you, Webmaster J:
One of my more redneck co-workers said that vegetarianism was “a bunch of hogwash.” Rather than educate him about the many reasons why not consuming meat would be benefical to his health (and that of most of my co-workers, for that matter), I stood there pondering the origin his countrified phrase.
So here is my question: where does the phrase “that’s hogwash” come from?
Eagerly awaiting a reply (and a new Betty Crocker PC!)
hog·wash – n. – 1. Worthless, false, or ridiculous speech or writing; nonsense. 2. Garbage fed to hogs; swill.
As for hogwash, it is simply wash for the pigs. Wash in this sense is “swill”, or “liquid or partly liquid food refuse from the kitchen”.
It’s basically a bucketful of kitchen scraps and leftovers, and when given to the pigs that many country families raised once upon a time, it came to be known as hogwash. Eventually, hogwash came to apply to anything that was worthless, then worthless or bad writings, and now it seems to have taken on the meaning of “untruths”.
The word is first recorded with the literal sense in about 1440 (when it was spelled hoggyswasch), and the figurative meaning is first seen in the written record in 1712.
Knowledge is power…demand it.
Dude,
Not a bad idea.
I was just thinking that your website was pimped out this week. All sorts of pimpage was going on for the postings for February 15 and 16. I like the microwave pc too. I was thinking about the old easy bake ovens that cooked brownies with a light bulb. I bet you could turn a pc into an easy bake over. Especially if it overheats like Cuen’s.
Yeah, I also thought it would be a great segway for your [copyrightpatentpending] ‘Pimp My Grill’ [/copyrightpatentpending].
Heck yes it would. As I was reading your posting for today, I started thinking about the different ways in which we could pimp out a grill. We need to get to work man.
When I read about how the coworkers oxymoronically called vegetarianism “hogwash” I started thinking of this elaborate story (much like the goody two shoes) that included bathtubs and flying pigs. Afraid that the artie’cles license would be revoked if I posted another story like that, I resorted to thinking about the game “Pass the Pigs” The object of the game is basically to roll two little rubber pigs like rolling numbered die and earn points based upon how the pigs land. Then I started thinking about pimping out a grill and using a nice barbeque sauce to baste some baby back ribs. Since you use a mop to apply a wet sauce to meat while grilling, you are essentially washing the pork. So, thinking about hogwash lead me full circle to thinking about hog wash. And, since I am Artie, it also involved food.
Capt’n Matt, come to Tallahassee and we can pimp out a grill and do more research for the beerocology degree we plan to pursue.
Dude…
[copyrightpatentpending]
“Pimp my Website”
[/copyrightpatentpending] might be the one thing that could convince me to watch MTv. And as far as the PC goes… you can have it birthday girl… it’s pretty hot… but I’d be needing a whole oven and range top for mine. Maybe even a KitchenAide mixer. Now that would be hot. :O)
Pimp my grill? Would you still use charcoal/gas, or something a little more awesomer?
How fast can a laser cook a steak? d(‘-’)b
yo man! pimp my grill AND my website!!!
charcoal is the only way to go. no matter what hank hill says, you can taste the propane in your meat and that’s not cool. on the other hand, i would be interested to know how fast a laser could cook a steak…
Hapland Solution:
1) Open the grey lid, press the yellow arrow a man will pop out.
2) Fire the cannon set in the “low”position agaist the wooden bar (it will become horizontal).
3) Open the small window on the bottom left, click on the red arrow and set it to RIGHT.
4) Set the cannon in the HIGH position and fire against the Bell (the bottom left door will open).
5) Set the cannon in the LOW position, fire the first bomb and QUICKLY press on the wooden bar while the bomb is still in mid-air, you will get it and make it explode without causing damage. Do the same procedure for the second bomb.
6) With the cannon in the LOW position fire the blu keycard. the man in the prison will use it to open the door.
7) Fire the empty cannon, the man will be dropped in the cannon itself. press the yellow arrow to make a new man appear.
9) Click on the man that is now under the bell, it will move the wooden structure.
10) Click the bell for 3 times, the paper bullet will make the landmine explode, then you can click on the door on the bottom left and the man will pop out and enter the new building.
11) LAST MOVE: click on the man that was in prison, a dog will drop from a crate, WHEN THE DOG HITS THE GROUND, quickly press on the lighted window above the prison. A piece of stone will fall killing the dog.