Vice President’s Day?
Celebrate Tuesday.
So, President’s Day on Monday. I’m up for that… honestly, all that these fine upstanding gentlemen have done for our country, the least I can do is give up a whole day of being productive for them… under protest, but indeed, I don’t mind missing a day of class.
Oh, but wait. Turns out, FSU is too cool to have a day of reverence and obsequious revelry in venerating recognition. Hmm. Government employees get the day off (RT… ahem), I won’t be getting any mail (darn, no love letters), and you can guarantee that nothing constructive will come out of the judicial system (oh, wait, are they generally fecund anyway?)… Yet, I still am being forced, against my wishes, and if I were a Presidentiality Spiritualist, against my religion, to attend classes, as per the Florida State University attendance policy. Although, if I were a Presidentiality Spiritualist I suppose I could get my minister, or cult leader, or whatever they have these days, to write me a letter excusing me for religious reasons (hmm, I should’ve thought of that one sooner). Wait, back to that Spirituality stuff, so, if anyone’s interested in joining, especially in light of our up coming religious celebration, please let me know, and I’ll get your information and we can send a visitation team to your house this Tuesday night (they’ll be sure to stop by right after you’ve stripped down to your skivvies, just as the dog’s started barking and the baby’s started crying) and let you know more about how you too can accept George Washington into your heart. They’ll also give you the low-down on our Saturday morning sacrifices of baby artichokes to George while invoking the prayers of Millard Fillmore and Franklin Pierce. (Wait… does this mean that I have to start talking to Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon too!?!? I’m gonna have to rethink this whole thing… ) Yeah, but anyways, if you’re interested, let me know.
Basically, I’m a bit peeved that people aren’t respectful enough to give me the day off! I mean… aren’t respectful enough to set aside a day to honor our Presidents. In fact, I propose, in addition to President’s Day, we should have Vice Presidents’ Day too (although I stole the idea from Justin). I mean, they work just as hard, only difference is they have to be prepared to take over if the President dies… and then everyone wonders if they killed the Prez just so they could take over… vicious cycle, you know? Anyways, point being, everyone skip class/work Monday in celebration, regardless of whether or not it’s cool with the appropriate authorities, and then skip class/work again on Tuesday in honor of all our loyal and intelligent Vice Presidents. If any of you need that excuse letter from our Sacrifice Specialist, I’ll get that to you right away. Hmm, maybe we should start a Vice Presidentiality Spiritualist group.
And now I will leave you with a quote from a dear friend of mine, Chris Rock:
“As long as you live, you ain’t never gonna see no black vice president. Not while the president is white. You know why? Because some black guy would just kill the president. I’d do it. If we had a black vice president right now, I couldn’t wait to kill the president. What’s gonna happen to me? What are you gonna do? Put me in jail with a bunch of black guys who would treat me like a hero for the rest of my life?”
He thinks we should celebrate President’s Day too.
- Posted by Joshua at 08:39 am
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I'm currently living in Tallahassee, FL where I am a senior in the Computer Science program at FSU and a C# web developer for a local software company.
nice use of links and good anger. its was very surly. good job.
Angry woman posting. Hmm. Do I hear alanis morisette in the background? I think I may. One correction to your posting…Artie does not get the day off. He has to work and he works hard.
But good job on being the first woman to post here.
UGA is also too cool to have the day off. I did however skip a class and a lab…we’ll just say it was in honor of the presidents. I would also like to offer up a fist-ladies day, if only to just have another day off school. But, I do think that it’s hard to be pretty all the time, put up with a man on a power trip, and keep the chil’ren in line. Laura Bush does an excellent job by the way. Also, I feel wrong H&F on this page, but I couldn’t think of anything else at the moment.
Ha a holiday for women? Ya’ll already got mothers day how much more do you need? a first ladies day, now thats funny right there, i don’t care who you are
would that be the old alanis or the new alanis? she changes attitudes each album. remember the angry alanis? then there was the grateful alanis. you know, the second album. now there’s alanis, the girl next door. i think we should put them all in a blender (no pun intended capt matt) and see what happens. i sense a future melissa etheridge…just a little hotter.
pardon my bad form but i forgot to rant.
just so y’all know, i don’t get a holiday, period! so far i’ve worked twice on thanksgiving day, one christmas eve, new year’s day, january 2 (which, by all means, needs to be a holiday) and the day after fourth of july (which also needs to be a holiday). we also have tribal holidays which means if you work with or are involved with the tribe you get the day off. i work for the tribe and am heavily involved with the tribe…but i don’t get a day off.
just remember y’all, this is the cost of being a super hero.
i’ll leave y’all with some words from 3 doors down:
“if i go crazy then, will you still call me superman?”
I’d have to say old alanis. I like the new alanis. She doesn’t seem angry and it looks like she washes her hair. But anyway. I had to work on my holidays last hurricane season. Plus I had to work two days that were declared state holidays. And guess who hasn’t been paid the overtime for those days yet. Me. Rant Rant Rant…
I’ll leave you with some words from Five for Fighting:
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”
–From Hamlet (III, ii, 239)
I think the gents requested this page so they could have someone to release all their pent up anger at. No ladies have so much as commented (well, except “hot and flirtatious”). So, here… here’s my comment. If only to have one not hatin’ on the “Futile Files”.
Hey now, I’m not hating. If it gets posted to my site it gets my nod of approval.
From Romeo and Juliet (Act I, Scene I)
SAMPSON: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I
bite my thumb, sir.
GREGORY: Do you quarrel, sir?
ABRAHAM: Quarrel sir! no, sir.
Reinterpreted for this website:
ARTIE: No, mam, I do not bite my thumb at you, mam, but I bite my thumb, mam.
FEMALE POSTER: Do you quarrel, sir?
ARTIE: Quarrel mam! No, mam.
We have Mother’s Day?…guys have Father’s Day, President’s Day, New Years Day (b/c of the football), and the main holiday for men is Thanksgiving Day b/c you get the woman in the kitchen while you sit on the couch watching football and you can eat as much as you want…b/c we all know pant’s and fullness do not stop any guy. And seriously…how did this become a page for guys to rant and profess their greatness…you have a whole website for that, and some of you your own pages on the website
What’s all this about hatin’?
Unless you are a mom, you don’t get mothers day. Unless you are a dad (I’m not) you don’t get fathers day. Contrary to what the female poster stated, I worked on Presidents day. So, how is that a man’s holiday? I don’t care that it is a day for old white men, I still had to work. Anyway… we aren’t hating. We are all just ranting at our lack of a holiday. So, basically we are all agreeing with the female poster that we should celebrate the day (by not working). Only I don’t know about the whole politics and religion thing. To me spirituality should guide your politics. But that is a novel concept that doesn’t seem to happen in American politics anymore.
I encourage more women to post quality material to this website.
Well we gave you a shot a few months ago. some of us are still bitter that no one took it then. you got something to say step up ladies. if not we’ll continue our male dominance over this site. (present Female contributer excluded).
With Love
I wasn’t complaining about the male dominance, it’s a guys’ site…I was commenting on the fact that 3 of the ranters have their own pages to use to say what they want, but they all want to use the page they gave the girls to rant on to point out we rant and proclaim their dominance.
Also With Love
boy do I love this.
does it count if you’re unsure of your parenthood?…i don’t think i’m a dad, though…not the last time i checked, anyways…things could’ve changed…there was the one capt. matt should’ve warned me about…
anywho, carry on as i have found pleasure in your rebuttle.
I know for a fact that I am not a dad.
But I do recommend that we change “Father’s Day” to “Baby’s Daddy’s Day”.
What do you think?
Big Daddy…you didn’t pick one up at Wal-Mart did you?
I picked one up at walmart. You can get anything there.
Proof that you can get just about anything at Wally World.
Well, if you did pick it up at Wal-Mart, I do highly recommend changing Fathers Day to Baby’s Daddy’s Day.
As a side note, there are probably a lot of things you can get from those you pick up at Wal-Mart. Most of those things, you probably don’t want.
not like a former good friend of mine…i didn’t pick her up at wally’s…i went to target!
I think there’s something to be said for K-mart here. Highly underrated.
You must not have been to the K-Mart in Bainbridge then.
Man. The K-Mart in Bainbridge is Wiggidy-wack!
I hear you can get some Hot and Flirtatious…I mean high quality girls at Target for real
I love how we’ve gone from talking about angry women, to being accused of haterating on women, to talking about picking up women. Are we missing anything?
To be honest if you pick up a target be sure to keep the receipt (i love you H&F) you might want to return them before 30. i threw mine away and look what happened.
I did hear they’re a handful…I think that’s a nasty rumour though
Rumour? Don’t you mean rumor? You ain’t from around here are ya?
umm, only forgetting one thing:
“I know you’re a feminist, and I think that’s adorable, but it’s grown up time now, and I’m the man.”
~Peter Griffin, Family Guy
All we need is some guy to say that. Heh, I said it, but it doesn’t count for much since I’m definitely not a man.
“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people” – Unknown
For the record i have no clue where the feminist issue got brought up, but i can say without a doubt H&F is not feminist. even she doesn’t cook or clean or do any womanly chores. She’s pretty far feminism
Joshua, what are you talking aboot? eh?