Christian Dating

Ok Kids so it’s been a while, and I’ve been slack “my B”. I’m writing this while listening to the Godfather of Soul Mr. James Brown; take that for whatever it’s worth. But for the record James Brown maybe the coolest musician that has ever lived; he’s Super Bad. Before I get started I want to send a little love to Hot & Flirtatious; with all this relationship talk on the website as of late I think I should recognize a beautiful young lady that opened my eyes to great relationships even if we aren’t together anymore. Enough of the emotional crap and onto my Rambling

The last couple of days I’ve refrained from posting worthwhile comments to the Site because I set back and soaked up everyone else’s opinions. I figured I have my own column that you kids read on a regular basis to make my voice heard. Now my first reaction to the last few days was I should put out my beliefs on the subject. Upon further introspection I thought I would write this instead.

First I’d like to say that waiting on a husband/wife just to fall into your lap is a bad idea. The best thing about casual dating is that it teaches you what you like and especially what you don’t like in people that you could fall in love with. I’ve learned that I couldn’t be married to a quiet little woman; I want an equal, dangit.

Does that mean she tries to usurp the picture of the family that God established in our relationship? Or that I don’t want to take my role as a spiritual leader seriously?

In one word, No. I want someone that I can love and respect. I can love anyone I choose to love (that statement is for another post), but I won’t respect someone properly that I feel is less than me.

Also I’m going on the record for saying that being the spiritual leader in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to be the initiator of the relationship. “Ohh NOOO he didn’t just say that. That’s heresy. He can’t say that.” Check your narrow minded opinion at the door, and let’s look at a few facts.

1) Dating is a new phenomenon in culture. For most of our history and throughout a lot of the world today (note Indian culture especially Hindu) marriage was/is arranged. In many African tribes the young women choose their husband based on his skillz (Napoleon Dynamite style). It is a matter of cultural convenience that women are not the initiators of relationships.

2) The Bible doesn’t talk about dating. It talks a lot about marriage and purity, and we infer from that what is appropriate for dating in the “modern” world.

3) Lets look at the Old Testament and see what happens shall we? The 2 best examples of people picking out their own spouses are found there (that’s the closet I found to Biblical Dating). First let’s look at Jacob, in Gen. 29 we see him choose his own wife. Fairly standard man-sees-woman, man-works-7-years- to-marry-woman, man-gets-tricked-and-marries-the-ugly-sister, man-works-7-more-years-to-marry-woman-story. It’s a case of true love in the modern sense sorta. Now let’s look at story 2, the story of Ruth. Every girl I know loves this story, but she acts so improper. I mean she and her mother-in-law did do all the pursuing. What’s up with that?

After reviewing both stories we note that initiating a relationship has nothing to do with being a spiritual leader and more to do with what cultural convention. There is nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out. I’ll go out with you if you ask, and I’ll put money that most guys would say yes if you asked them out. Or we’ll have a better excuse than I was washing my hair.

So I wrote all of that because I really just felt like it, and I’ll be honest I’ve always asked out girls I’ve been on dates with. Yes, guys are dense or scared (see past Ramblings) when it comes to girls. Casual dating is fun and can be very productive. Don’t think that Mr. Right is going to fall out of the sky and be ready to marry you right then. If you try that then there’s a good chance you’ll be looking for another Mr. Right pretty quickly.

Kids I’ll see you in a couple of weeks and try to stay out of trouble. And as Stephanie reminded me Sunday night, a bad day fishing is better than a good day of class.

Much Love

- Captain Matt