You’re Not The Boss of Me!

I need some coffee.

I have heard people say that since I am a State Employee that my salary is paid for through taxes paid by citizens of the State of Florida. This is true. But the argument usually follows the logic that since the person who initiates this conversation pays taxes in Florida, they essentially pay my salary, and thus I work for them (and everyone else who pays taxes in Florida). I usually smile and provide a quiet laugh for good measure, pretending that I have never heard this before.

Without going into the infinitesimally small percentage of each person’s taxes that actually go toward my salary, I think I have a new response.

My new response should be “then why do you hate me?”

The State of Florida is very careful (for the most part) of how we spend tax payers money. We have to justify everything that we buy and everyone that we pay. We usually take lower salaries than our counterparts in the private sector. We do have a couple of added perks such as good benefits and slightly more job security, but we do not get the little things. Private organizations often have nice dinners for their employees for certain events, such as retirements. They have retirement gifts. They also have fancy things like coffee machines that make coffee, espresso, cappuccino, hot water, etc.
We get none of that. If you want coffee, you bring it yourself. If you want a party, you throw it. If you want a gift, you go to the store and buy it.

I did join the coffee club just recently. To be a part of this club, you pay dues up front, and you enjoy unlimited coffee until it runs out. Then, you pay dues again. Before this coffee club, almost every employee had their own coffee maker in their cubicle and brewed coffee every morning. I could make an argument that if the State provided us coffee, it would be cheaper than the cost electricity to run so many coffee makers. But it is easier to justify spending money on electricity than spending money on a coffee maker and coffee. But I digress.

In the break room (where the coffee club’s coffee maker is located) there are signs posted that state:

Coffee, tea, and other food services are only provided at no cost when all three of the following conditions are met:
1.The State EOC is at Level 1 activation
2.We are under a Governor’s Executive order for the event
3.Food services have been authorized by the SCO
Any other times, coffee and tea provided as a convenience by the “Coffee Club” and is not free. As such, please contribute .25 per cup, or $1.00 per day for unlimited java. Thank you.

In case you don’t understand the office lingo, that means that there has to be a disaster that is so big that is cannot be handled by the county in which the disaster occurs, the Governor has to sign an Executive order, and the State Coordinating Officer has to approve before we can get a free cup of coffee.

It takes a Governor’s Executive Order to get a cup of coffee where I work!

Being a shareholder in Engelhard stock, I do not get upset when they spend money on things such as coffee machines and dinner. I know that these things improve moral and boost employee productivity. Thus, in the long run, they make my stock more valuable. I could argue that they are wasting money that could be returned to the shareholder as dividends, but I do not. I want the employees to be happy. Just because I own a couple of share of the stock does not mean that I am anyone’s boss. Thankfully, as I have no idea how to make catalysts.

But, for some reason, people have a different mentality toward taxes. Everyone always wants lower taxes, but they expect all of the things that taxes go toward to magically keep occurring. I agree that government is not perfect. But perhaps that is because everyone is too cheap to pay for coffee to keep us awake. I jest. But seriously, I work everyday to make sure that the people in Florida are safe. Our mission is to ensure that Florida is prepared to respond to emergencies, recover from them, and mitigate against their impacts. Do you really want us falling asleep at our job?

Next time somebody tells me that they are my boss because about .00012 cents from their taxes pay my salary, I am going to ask why they do not care enough about their employee to provide some caffeine to keep me going everyday.