Weekend Review

It’s that special day of the week boys and girls: Monday. [insert unenthusiastic hurray here]. In spite of the fact that today is Monday…and I have to work the rest of the week…I do have two “special” stories for you:
Picture this: Guy’s night. Four of us are sitting in a booth at B. Merrell’s, making a few stops on our beer tour. As any responsible person should do, we ordered some water. Our waitress, adhering to the typical high standards at B. Merrell’s, brings us four waters and two straws. Now I don’t need five years of college to tell me something is wrong with this picture. So we ask the chick for two more straws and she says, no lie, “Just do like Jesus or something and make four from two.” And then she just walks away. No straws, just four blank expressions.
Wow. It still boggles the mind.
Now on to my second story. The lovely Christina and I are sitting in rush hour traffic when this little two door BMW convertible (top down) pulls up beside us with a tag that says: ULIVONCE. That’s “You Live Once” if you were curious or a little slow. Just for imagination’s sake, picture a soccer mom and four eleventeen year olds singing Vanessa Carlton-like songs at the top of their little lungs. If you’ve seen the movie White Chicks you know exactly what I’m talking about. Now picture if you will a certain webmaster pointing and laughing out loud, uncontrollably, at said eleventeen year olds. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time…but it turns out they could hear my laughter over their teenie-bop music. Apparently I tend to laugh loud…real loud. So in perfect synchronization, I received not one, not two, not three, but FOUR mangry looks. I didn’t ‘think it was possible…but the flawless execution…the mangryness…it all made me laugh harder.
Yeah, I got “looks” all the way down the road until they turned off the road.
In the words of the good senior, “It made me smile.”
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I'm currently living in Tallahassee, FL where I am a graduate of the Computer Science program at FSU and a C# web developer for a local software company.
I bet those teenie-boppers wouldn’t have been so quick to pass out mAngry looks after being bombarded with “water” balloons cleverly filled with Pete Rickard’s™ Doe Urine. Yet another reason to always keep a cooler filled with those things handy.
By the way, did you kill the waitress?
No, seriously, did you kill her?
Kill. No, but I almost turned the other cheek. Actually, I almost turned the other cheeks — to moon her.
I hope nobody left a tip.
i’m glad you have more patience that i do. i probably would have had a colorful discussion with the manager…and then slapped them with some fire code violations! but i still would’ve left a tip. i would’ve utilized the 17 cents under an inverted glass of water on a laminated menu. (and just to be mean, i would put a few drops of YUM! fish attractant on a nearby menu…see next ‘blog’.)
actually, something that works better than deer urine is YUM! fish attractant. it has a ‘broader’ scent to it and is also ‘time-released’ so it’ll hang around for a little longer than stale deer pee. oh yeah, water makes it worse, much worse…