Nice Pants

6:50 AM. Sunday Morning. Driving around the stadium on the way to church.

“Artie, do you hear something kinda funny?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds like something caught in the wheel. Better pull over and check it out.”

I’m not going to lie. I was secretly hoping that it was a cat caught in the inner workings of my car…but it wasn’t. It was a little something that the experts like to call “two nails in the rear right tire”. A flat in laymen’s terms. The only option Artie and I had was to combine our powers to form an awesome two man pit crew that would put any NASCAR crew to shame. And nothing it more pimptastic than a Mustang GT with a donut spare. Ladies, back slowly away from the car.

To lift my spirits a little bit, I decided to treat myself to some Starbucks goodness. As I walk up to the counter, the lady at the register says, “Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you today? Oh, by the way, nice pants. They are hip and stylish.” Man, I looked around to make sure that I wasn’t in some sort of a Dockers commercial. Now I need to qualify a few things. First, I would have to peg this check around 35+ years of age. While that puts her in the sugar mama range, she was A) married and B) working at a Starbucks. Sugar Mama: Access Denied. Now don’t get me wrong, I like compliments just a much as the next person. I’ve just never had a chick of that social status tell me that I had nice pants.

I guess there is a first time for everything.

Are those Bugle Boy jeans you’re wearing?

OSLD: This is by far the hardest Tetris game…evar!!

And just when I think I’ve seen it all: Videogame Toilets.

Wolf and Swine.

Yes, I’m going there: WonderBriefs for men.

What every Geek needs: 20-sided fuzzy dice. That’s a +2 to picking up D&D chicks.

Sub Bump.

Boo boo the attack monkey.