Encounters At Publix

Last night Artie propositioned me to let him have his way with my website today. Seeing as how I can’t resist that sexy beast, here you go:

I know. I know. You can give me grief for not writing an Artie’cle recently, but I am going to really hijack JS.com today.

So here’s my story:

It is almost time for me to leave the office and I have no idea what to cook for dinner. So, I decide to make garlicky tortellini and spinach soup. Anyway, that requires me to make a trip to the grocery store. So, I decide to stop into the Publix next to my office complex.

Unless you are at Club Publix, there usually isn’t too much excitement while shopping for groceries. But things sometimes pick-up when you get to the checkout counter. Instead of the Typical “Paper or Plastic” I hear this:

Bagger: “Mary hasn’t left, she is just on an important phone call.”
Cashier: “Mary’s what?”
Bagger: “She’s on an important phone call.”
Cashier: “Oh, I thought you said she was on a porno call. I guess that wouldn’t be a good thing to do, well, at least not at work.”

Well, it didn’t stop there.

Cashier “I want to go shoe shopping. How about that.”
Me: “Um. Oh. Um, Have fun with that.”
Cashier: ” If you were going shopping for something fancy, what would you buy? Electronics, cars, clothes?”
Me: “I guess I would buy a car”
Cashier: “I could buy a lot of shoes for that.”
Bagger: “You could buy all the shoes in the store.”
Me: “Well, have a good afternoon.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Eat garlic.

OSLD: You’ve seen the movie…now play the game!

This guy needs help. Tiddles: Tim’s badly drawn cat website.

Funky Truck.

The moral of this story: Lay in bed with your feet at the headboard.

How to make your own silver bullets.

Strongbow Room.

Man foils attack with deodorant. Kari, this link is for you.