Beating A Dead Horse
H’ok. I’m going to let yesterday’s post fester just a wee bit more. In other words, I’m not quite off my soap box. I did some online research last night and here’s what I found. As of 7/13/05, the following films were in production. All of these are either remakes, sequels, or movie adaptations of television shows. You may want to secure yourself to your desk because this really sucks:
The A-Team
Aeon Flux
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: The movie
Basic Instinct 2
Baywatch
Bean 2
Big Mommas House 2
The Blob (second remake)
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Brazilian Job
Bruce Almighty 2
The Butterfly Effect 2
Carlitos Way: Rise to Power
Casino Royale
Changeling
Charlottes Web
Cheaper by the Dozen 2
Dallas
Day of the Dead
Deuce Biggelow European Gigolo
Dirty Harry
The Dukes of Hazzard
Dungeons & Dragons 2
The Evil Dead (2 movies in production)
The Fast and the Furious 3
Final Destination 3
Flash Gordon
Footloose
Fox and the Hound 2
Garfield 2
Get Smart
The Grudge 2
Harry Potter (3 movies in production)
He-Man
Hellboy 2
Highlander 5
The Hills Have Eyes
The Hitcher
House Party
I Dream of Jeanie
Ice Age 2
The Incredible Shrinking Man
Indiana Jones 4
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (second remake)
Johnny Bravo
Jurassic Park 4
Kikis Delivery Service
King Kong
Knight Rider
Kung Pao 2
Land of the Lost
The Legend of Zorro
The Librarian 2
Logans Run
Mad Max; Fury Road
Miami Vice
Mission Impossible 3
Mortal Kombat: Devastation
Mrs. Doubtfire 2
The Munsters
National Treasure 2
Oh God!
The Omen 666
The Passion of the Clerks
The Pink Panther
Pirates of the Caribbean (two movies)
Porkys
The Poseidon Adventure
The Producers
The Punisher 2
Puss in Boots
Rambo 4
Red Dwarf
Rent
Resident Evil:Afterlife
Revenge of the Nerds
Rush Hour 3
The Santa Clause 3
Saw 2
Scanners
Shazam!
Shrek 3
The Simpsons
Sin City (2 movies)
Spider-Man 3
Superman Returns
Swiss Family Robinson
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Terminator 4
The Three Stooges
Toy Story 3
The Toy
The Transporter 2
Under Seige 3
Underworld: Evolution
Untitled Batman Begins sequel
Untitled Star Trek prequel
Untitled Texas Chainsaw Massacre prequel
The Untouchables: Capone Rising
Wonder Woman
X-Men 3
Ok, depending on how you look at it, this either sucks or blows. First of all, I would personally like to thank George Lucas for popularizing the prequel thing. Congratulations, you’ve created a bandwagon (sadly, not a paddy wagon). Secondly, its one thing to make a movie based from a movie/TV show that my generation has never heard of. But don’t devour my childhood memories and attempt to regurgitate them to me just so you can get more bank and raise DVD prices. Seriously, Hollywood, you are beyond scraping the bottom of the barrel when you have to remake Footloose. Footloose.
And to add insult to injury…Dirty Harry. In case you haven’t looked around lately, but Hollywood is full of pretty boys like Orlando Bloom and his peach fuzzy upper lip. I’m talking about boys that couldn’t even handle a .44 mag, let alone make anyone’s day other than Richard Simmons or Elton John. So unless you want to cast Clint Eastwood saving the nursing home from the likes of granddaddy gang bangers, you’re doomed. Bubba Ho-Tep on the other hand…never mind.
Finally, please tell me how in the world you expect to remake The Toy in today’s society? We’re talking about a rich old white man that hires a poor black man to spend quality time with his spoiled brat of a son. [Enter Stage Left: Jesse Jackson, NAACP, ACLU, and a proposed Constitutional Amendment]. Unless of course they decide to do a race reversal deal like the new Honeymooners. Then of course it would be You know what? I’m just going to stop right here.
If I were a woman, my panties would be in a wad.
OSLD: Check out this game called Frogit2. Frog it…just frog it.
As if you couldn’t get it fast enough: How to save time on your microwave.
We’re doomed.
VisualRecipes.com – Because Recipes With Pictures Are Inspiring
Don’t spill the beer.
Drunk man attacks bear to show how strong he is. Bear shows how stupid drunk man is.
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I'm currently living in Tallahassee, FL where I am a graduate of the Computer Science program at FSU and a C# web developer for a local software company.
Good job following up your
rantpost on remakes with a game called Frogit2I aim to please.
cristos on a stick the A-Team, Miami Vice, Dirty Hairy, i’ve got a few buried dogs hollywood can dig up and kick around for a day or 2 to completely destroy childhood memories.
however, a cartoon johnny bravo movie and ATHF should be kinda funny.
But come one a new Untouchables & Carlito’s Way? Why not make a great squel like Scarface 2 where tony really lived at the end that would work.
Why not male a movie we all want see like Beavis & Butthead The Return?
If they ever make a smurf’s movie or david the nome, then my childhood memories will be completely destroyed and there will be no more movie watching for me… not that I go out to see that many movies in the first place… maybe that is why hollywood is having such a hard time…. I do agree that Johnny Bravo would be funny
Actually, you’d think that they would be able to come up with good movies at the rate that they come out with video games that have such elaborate plots in them.
You remmeber David the Gnome as well?? I thought I was imaging the whole experience
No, David the Gnome was oh-so real… You remember the fox, Swift?
*shakes head in shame*
Next up for a re-make: The Ten Commandments, with Charlton Heston’s role being taken over by Rob Schneider. Also keep an eye out for the stunning re-make of Casablanca, starring none other than Lindsey Lohan as the beautiful Ilsa, with the role of Rick Blaine being played by a computer-generated Ashton Kutcher.
David the Gnome Rocks!!…i wish it was syndicated
I finally remembered the name of another childhood favorite: Adventures of the little koala… no one ever talks about these shows anymore… i too wish they were syndicated
Newsweek had an article on Television reality series bringing back has-beens, or “retro-celebs” so apparantly TV is doing the same thing as Hollywood.
Newsweek had an article on Television reality series bringing back has-beens, or “retro-celebs” so apparantly TV is doing the same thing as Hollywood. I guess it’s an pandemic…it’s been happening in the music world for years. Maybe I should pay more attention to the news to see if they’re recycling stories…luckily in the book world it’s called plagerism and not sampling
Well they are recycling retro vehicle styles… the 2005 mustang, the new dodge charger… the um new.. i forget its name but it looks like an old gangster van. I think old-new is just the in thing in every category
The charger doesn’t really count. The only thing retro about it is the name. I give partial credit to the GTO though.