Rake In The Bank

So I was thinking the other day about my old friend Arch Nemesis #7. Some time has passed since I last encountered that one of the nine pains in my butt. I can honestly say that it has been rather nice.

Then I got to thinking about AN#7′s special power. And that somehow led to money. Money, as in “how to capitalize on the high and mightiness of AN#7s out there”. Just in case you were wondering, money is directly related to AN#7 ’cause we gotta take up the offering. Church ain’t free you know. OK, gotta stop that line of thinking before I get on my soapbox.

Anyways, back to money. How to make some bank? How can I capitalize on Arch Nemesis #7′s nature? What product can I create to improve their way of living? Then it hit me! Jinkies!!

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Problem #1: That big ol’ plank:

Matthew 7:2-4 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

Solution #1: Plank Remover. Maybe something like giant tweezers or nanobots that act like termites. Then I could even improve to a Liquid Plank Remover. Sweet!

Problem #2: Pesky Sin:

John 8:7 But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Solution #2: This is actually a twofer. A.) Gotta get rid of that sin and fast. I figure an emergency communion kit. Like crackers and a juice pack. Kinda like Lunchables. But instead we’ll call ‘em Redeemables or Cleansables. B.) Stones. Not just any stones. You need good, quality stonin’ stones. I’m thinking high end stones in something like a Crown Royal bag. Handy and stylish. Plus I could either sell them individually or as a deluxe set.

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Now I’m sure you’re thinking something along the lines of, “Wow, that’s special.” Yes…yes it is. But you need to consider a few things: 1.) Given the chance, someone of the Arch Nemesis #7 Brotherhood would probably like to have a good ol’fashioned stoning. Or at the very least kick you out of their church because you aren’t perfect. I’m just trying to make some c-notes off their crazy logic. 2.) I was half way through a pitcher of beer.

‘Nuff said.

Actually, Artie has written an Artie’cle with similar thoughts. Yes, it’s a new ARTIE’CLE! w00t w00t, l33t l33t!!

OSLD: Rather in-depth World Domination game. Go team!

Check out this sentry gun this guy made.

Ant City.

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Take a peek at this guy’s toy collection. 56k modem warning!

Bubble Bobble: The Revival.

Man receives ransom note for his kidnapped dog along with a bag of poop. “It looked like my dog’s poop, but I’m not a dog-poop analyst”.