The Tux Ordeal

Hat tip to Nick for the photo.

Thursday Robert and I had to go to the Governor’s Square Mall to pick up our tuxes. Artie’s was supposed to be ready on Wednesday but it didn’t come in. So we were going to pick up his as well because, you know, he might need it being the groom and all. We get to the mall and we can’t find the store. Seriously, we walk from one end of the mall to the other and its disappeared. We look at one of the maps and we’re standing right in front of where the store used to be (according to the map). There’s nothing there but a black hole.

Great, just great.

We eventually find out the store’s been move across the street in another complex. So we load up in the back of Robert’s truck like a bunch of migrate workers and ride over to the new After Hours store. We pick up Artie’s tux and ask Felix (remember that name) where are our tuxes. Felix says, “We didn’t order them.”

“Say what?”

“You have to pay money up front before we can order your tux.”

Rewind about two or so months ago. Artie, Robert, and myself get measured for our tuxes. Artie basically got his for free since he’s the groom and they didn’t say one thing about having to pay money up front. So we explain this to Felix (who basically could care less) and asked him why they didn’t call one of us. He responds with a, “We called the groom.” Robert calls Artie who says he never got a call from anyone at After Hours. “Well we must have called the Bride.” No. No you didn’t. Jillian wouldn’t let the fact the best man and her brother didn’t have tuxes slide by. “Well, the best we can do is have them in Lakeland (about 45 min from Winter Haven) by 2 PM on Friday. Guaranteed.” So we pay, in full, for the tuxes while Felix goes into the back to call the Lakeland store to place the order.

True to his form, he didn’t come back out and tell us everything had been taken care of. Instead he just comes out and starts helping someone else. Robert had to track him down to make sure everything was in order (which he assured us it was).

Friday we arrive at the mall in Lakeland at 2 PM. Guess what? No tuxes. Apparently since we were measured in January, the ticket numbers on our measurements were no longer valid. The Lakeland store called Felix back to get new numbers. Felix said he was busy and he would call them back.

He never did.

The Lakeland store called back that morning, got the correct ticket numbers, and order the tuxes. The tuxes were expected to arrive Saturday morning about 9:30 AM or so. Ummmm…that’s not going to work because we have a brunch at 10 AM, pictures at 11 AM, and a hitchin’ at 2 PM. I believe his response to that was, “Sorry guys, that’s the best I could do.”

At that point Robert and I lost it and have a few choice words to say about After Hours and Felix in particular. It probably would have been worse if Artie’s dad wasn’t with us. The somewhat funny part was after Robert and I got finished, Artie came in and told them what he thought. Meanwhile, Robert calls their corporate headquarters and leaves them a not so pleasant message on their “Customer Dissatisfaction Line”.

In the end, this lady at Customer Service said our tuxes would be in Lakeland at 5:00 Friday afternoon and we would be compensated. Robert and I came back after Rehearsal and got our tuxes. Mine fit great but Robert’s pants were about 4-5 inches too big in the waist and the crotch of his pants was down to his knees. I believe he said the pants must have been for a four foot nothing fat man. Even better, the store manager tried to tell Robert that’s how the pants were made.

Yeah…when M.C. Hammer was popular.

Anyways, we finally got our tuxes at 9 AM on the night before the wedding.

The moral of this story is don’t use After Hours for your tuxing needs, especially the one in Tallahassee.

There’s a pre-owned Apache helicopter for sale on eBay. (Don’t forget my birthday is Sunday)

Nation States.

Moose Lands In Front Seat Of Leominster Car (with video goodness).

Mine Sweeper with a twist.

Watch some Transformers and G.I. Joe videos on Hasbro’s website.