Spandex = BAD!!

When did it become OK to wear spandex again? This has been a question I’ve had for almost a year. At the beginning of last year, Mary Beth and I were driving around downtown Athens one night and the conversation went something like this:

“When did the 80′s come back?”
“I don’t know…maybe it’s a social.”
(In utter repulsion) “There’s too many for it to be a social!”

At this point, all the sorostitutes were wearing their short skirts with tights. The only good thing I can say about this trend is that when the wind blows the whole world doesn’t get to see what their momma gave them. When I was in Oxford, everybody was wearing short skirts and tights. My question is when no one in their right mind wants to wear pantyhose, whey do you go and do the next worse thing and wear tights? The 80′s have been coming back for years in different ways. England in 2003 was embracing the unattractive color combinations, along with neon, which I also saw a little bit of here. Then came the leg warmers, which caused me to throw a melodramatic fit over in my hometown Target to entertain my mother, the laughing bystander was just appreciative, but I know she was thinking the same thing: “If you’re not an actual dancer, or going as the girl from Flashdance to a Halloween party, you should NOT wear leg warmers.” I had gotten use to the fact that no one was going to come to their senses and realize that the 80′s were a bad time for fashion and we should therefore never return. However, I am sadly disappointed with…well I don’t know who exactly, buy anyone who endorses or wears 80′s fashions.

The most recent trend is wearing spandex…as pants. I KNOW!! Who in their right mind? And not only are they wearing spandex…as pants…but they are also wearing shirts that only hit the top of their hips. This means you get to see every curve that the spandex hugs. I don’t care how skinny you are, NO ONE should wear spandex in public, unless it is under running shorts. The reason is: everyone can see every curve that you have…and I mean every…especially when you wear shirts that only come to your hips. I for one don’t care to be confronted with having to see your wedgie, or your camel toe in the dinning hall…I’m trying to eat. If you’re going to embrace the spandex as pants, you might as well embrace it all the way and wear the LONG off the shoulder shirt so everyone can make fun of you instead of being repulsed.

Since we live in the South, spring will be upon us in a few months. Something I’ve noticed over the past few years at UGA is girls tend to go fashion retarded when the weather gets warm for the first time. Maybe their brains are thawing out. Maybe it will be different this year. We use to be known for having the prettiest girls in the South on campus, and I guess you can’t expect the majority of pretty girls to have brains and think about what their wearing. It’s just way easier to embrace the latest horrible fashion. Maybe it will be different this year. It’s getting harder to get into UGA, and because of that, the girls aren’t as pretty as they use to be, so perhaps there will be a positive correlation between the decrease in attractiveness and their ability to dress…or maybe I just have to much hope. The only thing I can hope for is that we will never re-embrace, in my lifetime at least, the big hair – especially bangs – and the horrible makeup.