Geronimo!!

My list of crazy stuff to do before I die:

Get a tattoo
Ride the Skycoaster
Go bungee jumping

And as of Saturday:

Sky Diving

That’s right, I jumped out a perfectly good airplane and lived to tell the tale.

Sky diving is something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. A group of co-workers were going and I figured this would be the perfect time to go. Because hey, everyone is doing it right? Nah…I don’t equate that to the whole “jumping off a bridge peer pressure” thing to paying someone to push you out of a plane. I file that under “completely voluntary”.

Anyways, we drove up the Quincy International Regional Airport early Saturday morning after a butt-crack-of-dawn breakfast at Cracker Barrel. We were supposed to suit up and jump around 9 AM but there was some cloud cover and they wanted to wait to see what was going with the weather.

I should also mention that it was about 38 degrees around this time and it wasn’t supposed to warm up much. Knowing this, I was layered in long johns, two t-shirts, jeans, a pullover, and insulated hunting boots.

And I was still cold.

So while we were waiting for the weather to clear, we had to watch a VHS tape from the early 80′s with a guy (who had a ZZ Top beard) tell us that tandem jumping wasn’t officially approved by the FDA (about a quarter century ago). We also had to sign and initial a four page document that basically said that if we die, no one can even think about suing the airport or their cousin’s, daughter’s, best friend’s, uncle’s, great-grand mother’s parakeet.

After all that, we went over all the basics of being strapped to someone in midair, jumping out of the plane, free falling body position, controlling the parachute, and landing. We also got jump suits, sexy hats, and gloves to wear.

As for me, I was going to be strapped to Stewart. From what I was able to gather, Stewart was a Vietnam vet who smelled faintly of agent orange and was a bit on the eccentric side to say the least. After all that, we loaded up in our plane and took off. (Side note: Our pilot was this old dude who looked like he had been flying forever. At some point someone asked, “Shouldn’t he wear a parachute?” To which another replied, “FAA requires that he wear one…but he never does.” That’s what I call confidence.”

Once we reached about 13,000 ft, they opened the door on the plane. Ice crystals flew in. As my luck would have it, we were the last to jump. So I had to watch everyone jump out. And what’s worse that that? When you get ready to jump, they make you sit on the edge of the door with half your feet hanging out the plane. Then the instructor rocks you back and forth on the count of three and then your gone.

All you hear is the sound of rushing wind as you fall to the ground at 120 MPH.

Out of everything I had heard about sky diving, this was the one thing that surprised me the most: how difficult it was to breathe. And I’m not talking about thin air either. I’m talking about having the force of wind on your stomach, the harness, and having a ~200 lbs dude + a 60 lbs chute on your back. But once I got over the initial panic and started taking long, deep breaths, I was good to go.

After about a 60 second free fall, we opened the parachute and started out 5-7 minute decent. From that altitude, was I able to see the coast, Alligator Point, and St.Marks Bay. Sadly, I didn’t see my house. At was also at the point the adrenaline wore off and the cold set in. I later found out that the wind chill during the free fall was -30 degrees F.

That’s what I get for jumping in February.

Next came my old bad experience that I knew would be a problem: ear pressure. After free falling that distance and pulling the chute, it really messes with the pressure in your ears. And seriously, I already have problems with that just flying commercially. So after the chute opens, they tell you to do the “hold your nose and blow” deal. My right ear equalized no problem…my left did not. The whole way down. In fact, it’s almost back to normal but not quite.

And I’ll also say this, we stuck the landing. I’m talking about landed on our feet and didn’t fall down. Word.
I survived.

Would I do it again? Yeah if I can get the thing with my ears worked out. In fact, I think Kari’s going to go when it gets warm.

Computer Stupidities.

Pixels 1024.

Mexican man can guzzle down dozens of Mexico’s spiciest chilies, rub them on his skin and even squeeze their juice into his eyes without so much as blinking (pic).

How much is inside Ramen noodles?

Russian Puzzle.

Looks like the Maytag repair man finally has something to do: 201,540 dishwashers are being recalled because of the fire that could erupt in your kitchen.