Enlightenment

Well boys and girls, its been a week of enlightenment for me. For starters, I’m sure you’ve heard about the bitter, murderous astronaut chick. Why is this enlightening? For starters, I learned that if you’re going to drive halfway across the country to take out your rival, you need to wear diapers. I’m talking about nine hour, NASA-styled, spacewalk diapers here. Heavy duty…no pun intended. Seriously, if we can put a man on the moon, we can design a long lasting adult Huggies. And if NASA has taught us one thing, it’s OK to relieve yourself in a self enclosed environment…like a car.

On the other hand, you would think that someone who is smart enough to become an astronaut would have planned things out a little better. Seriously? I’m going to lie, I’ve spent most of my life wanting to be an astronaut. I would pillage and burn for the opportunity to. But this chick? She drives that far just to put on a black wig and trench coat. And even then all you is trail the person and pepper spray them? I would have given style points for doing it in a space suit, but not like a 40′s Noir film. Maybe, in her love crazy induced psychosis, this was the only flaw in her plan. You know, after years of having other people plan missions and strap your hiney to a rocket, her planning skills were probably a little dull.

Conceivably the most ingenious part of her place was yet to be carried out. After all, what did the police find in her car? A BB pistol, a steel mallet, a knife with a four-inch blade, several feet of rubber tubing and six latex gloves. If MacGyver could defuse an ICBM missile, in flight, from the ground, with that stuff…imagine what a trained astronaut could do.

Thankfully her mission was scrubbed and they’ll probably send her to the dark side of the moon for it. I just find it extremely interesting that someone who met NASA’s stringent standards flipped out like that.

Secondly, I kid you not, I saw to college students panhandling yesterday. As I was getting off I-10 on to US 27 yesterday, there were two college students on the side of the road. One had a sign that said, “Poor college student.” and the other one’s sign that said, “God Bless”. They were kinda sitting there with a bucket, looking for a hand out. If you could have given them sandals to wear and a faux-hawk, it would have been frat-tastic.

So now I’m thinking about quitting my day job and taking up panhandling to put myself through college.

Yeah right.

And that’s about it for me today. Have a great weekend everyone!

This week’s video: Fat Kid on a Rollercoaster.

The interstate system laid out like a subway map.

Beer magnate John Labatt donates $30 million for children’s heart-care center. Just one more example of beer helping our world out, 12 fluid ounces at a time.

Phase Toy.

An exciting look into what is known as British comics for girls.

Rails of War.

If you must use your beer glass as a weapon, step 1 is to ensure that the face you’re smashing it into isn’t attached to an undercover cop.