Back to the Homeland – Part 1

This past Saturday I took a trip up to Bainbridge to help move my grandparents into their new apartment. Yes, that means no more trips to backwoods Alabama for Starling clan gatherings. Sad, yes, I know…but the move is for the better.

At one point Kari and I ended up having to go to the Big K-Mart to get a universal remote for their TV. I really didn’t want to go to the Big K, but it was just two blocks away and the new Wal-Mart was half way across town. Now I realize I’m talking about Bainbridge and half way across town is probably a 5 min drive. I think part of me (i.e. morbid curiosity) wanted to see how the Big K was fairing since Wal-Mart moved into town.

You see, Capitan Matt and myself spent most of our teenage consumer years in that store. Everything from camo to paintball supplies to PlayStation/N64 games to just about everything in between we bought there. And just for the record, that place was a real crap hole. Since it was the only retail store of that kind in the country, they ran that store like a 3rd world country. There were always items in aisles or not on the metal hooks and you never could find anyone to get some help…especially to open the paintball/game cases or check you out.

And what has changed? Absolutely nothing. The store was desolate and there was still crap everywhere. They had the electronics section cordoned off like Guantanamo Bay and it literally smelled like crap in the back corner. No, really. We quickly grabbed the remote and started to leave. That’s when I remember that I was supposed to pay for the remote in the electronics section. When I finally made eye contact with the only employee in the section (she had been watching TV), she just sat there looking at me…at the checkout counter, with the remote in my hand. I finally had to ask her if I needed to pay for the remote there. She mumbled a yes, rang me up, and sent me on my way. She promptly went back to watching TV and we got the heck out of there.

I toyed with idea of sticking around in the parking lot. There was a ‘neck that had purchased a treadmill and I wanted to see how he was going to get it in the back of his Taurus. I figured it could only end badly and I was ready to leave. I had promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t even venture back into the Big K unless I had to.

And I reminded myself why I made that promise.

Now tune in for tomorrow’s post to find out what happens when we forgot to get batteries.

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