Back to the Homeland – Part 2

The content of today’s post was supposed to be the main event for yesterday’s post. However, I just started ranting about K-mart that I just decided to let myself go and make it a two parter.

So as I stated yesterday, Kari and I had to go to the Big-K to pick up a universal remote for my grandparents. The trip was so traumatic that we forgot to get batteries. Crap and double crap. Well it was already getting kinda late and we had pizza coming for dinner. I figured that since A) we were eating pizza and B) Artie and Matt taught me you can’t move without tasty beverages, it was time to make a beer run and get some batteries at the same time. I was also looking for reasons to not go back to K-mart. Instead, we ended up going to the next best thing: Harveys. Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with Bainbridge, Harveys is in the same “shopping center” as the Big-K and it’s actually the old Food Lion.

We walked into Harveys and picked up some ice, solo cups, and batteries. The whole time I’m trying to figure out what kind of beer to get. I was actually craving some Kirin Ichiban or something slightly foreign and light. Instead, I was greeted by a beer of a different foreign nature:

Yes. Schlitz (regular and malt), Old Milwaukee, and Colt 44. In 16 oz cans. Just to the right of the Schlitz is some Pabst Blue Ribbon and Schaefer’s Light. If that didn’t do it for you, they also had the 40 oz Colt 45 bottles. Seriously, they had a whole section devoted to this beer. And did you notice what was missing from the pics? Natty Light. I don’t even recall seeing any in the store.

I should have slapped myself for thinking I was actually going to find beer of that caliber in the South Georgia Bainbridge Harveys. That’s when I realized I had been away from small town life for too long. I had been spoiled by places like Publix where the import section is bigger than the domestic section. Here I was in good ol’ Bainbridge where there isn’t a Starbucks or bagel place on every corner.

At any rate, I didn’t start to panic and I just grabbed a pack of Coronas. I ended my Harveys experience by being checked out by the lady with the femullet.

It was good to be home.

13 Nostalgia-Heavy Commercials To Make You Pine For 1987.

Untangle.

Woman arguing with boyfriend sets his car on fire, suggests that he “might want to get some marshmallows” (w/mugshot).

Photographer Captures America’s Best-Kept Secrets.

Dolphin Olympics 2.

German man accidentally drinks from “gasoline flask”. Bonus: After realizing his mistake, spits gasoline onto lit cigarette.